The following article is a powerful testimony that was written by my dear friend, Allison. It was first posted in June 2009, but is being re-posted with some additions.
One must agree that relationships are under attack in the church. The great ploy of the enemy is to divide, while the Lord Jesus came to reconcile and unite us with each other and with God – Luke 9:56. In His final prayer before leaving the earth, Jesus prayed in John 17:21 concerning His disciples that we may all be one just as the Father and Jesus are one. I see that particular Word being attacked daily in the church and by extension even outside of the church. The Word of God has advised that offenses must come. See Matthew 18:7. However, we are mandated to walk in love. See John 13:34.
Marriage is a great institution by the Lord. It is the greatest union that a man and a woman could enter into. It is not just a physical joining but a spiritual one. This joining is the seed or nucleus of family life. God instituted this joining when He was creating the world. He saw that it was not good that man should be alone so he gave the man a wife. This was sacred. He showed the importance of this union by taking a rib from the man in order to form woman and then He breathed HIS breath into them and blessed them saying unto them that they should reproduce after their own kind. In other words, that was the license given to populate the earth – to bring forth duplicates of God’s creation.
However, I see time and time again a dis-jointing in marriages with many divorces occurring as well as tragic endings to other marriages. Some claim “irreconcilable differences” to be the reason for their separation. The majority of times marriages end because of infidelity. The latter being the only excuse that God would accept in permitting a divorce. See Matthew 19:9.
My own life attests to the extreme attacks from the enemy even from the inception of my marriage. For seventeen years I was miserable beyond words. Communication problems together with gross infidelity on both sides occurred. Arguments and just downright friction and unhappiness prevailed. In the midst of the negativity and un-pleasantries the Words that caused me to remain married were “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” Whenever I reached to the point of utter frustration, those Words came to me as a reminder. After seventeen years of wedded un-bliss, life began to change, only because I saw God lifting me to another level in Him. He caused me to view this union with different eyes – in other words, the Lord showed me my marriage from HIS perspective.
Do you know that Adam never had a choice in having Eve for his wife and vice versa Eve never had a choice in choosing her own mate? Adam did not have the freedom to say that he’s looking for a 34-26-38 figured woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Nor did Eve have the freedom to choose specifics for a husband. Do you know that God chose the two to be united? In this world system, we have a false sense of what marriage really is and how we are to determine who is to be your spouse. We use all sorts of criteria that are irrelevant to God when choosing a mate. The mandate to man from his Creator, was to leave his mother’s house and go find a wife See Matthew 19:5.
I have realized that we must first love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, and subsequently we should allow ourselves to be led by the Spirit of God – see Romans 8:14. It stands to reason that we ought to be led by the Spirit of God in choosing our spouses.
We are born with purpose by God. Therefore, the person who God will give us to wed will be the person who will help us to fulfill our purpose and destiny in God. Have you thought of what will happen if we go about choosing a mate ourselves instead of waiting on the leadership of the Holy Ghost? Our destiny would be at stake?
I had lived for years looking to satisfy my fleshly desires in marriage, but God has shown me that His purpose for bringing me into this world has nothing to do with my unruly flesh. I was created to complete the husband that God has given to me and also for my husband to complete me, and together we are to fulfill our purpose on the earth, as God has already ordained in Eternity. We all have to grow up and out of operating in our flesh and learn to walk according to the Spirit of God’s direction. Walking to fulfill this flesh will cause us to lose our souls in hell. See Romans 8:5-8 and Galatians 5:16-17
Marriage is something that we work at. It entails a lot of dying to the flesh – in other words, the marriage must include the activation of agape- the God kind of love, in order to live this life victoriously for God. Couples would never agree on all issues because they are individuals, with different likes and dislikes who have come together to form one unit. However, God still expects the couple to live victoriously as husband and wife. The keys to living the victorious life in marriage are as follows –
- Allow the Word of God to take first place in your life, meaning, choose to obey and do the Word of God at all times simply because it pleases the Father! Read Ephesians 2: 1-7 & Ephesians 5:21-23
- Approach the marriage in this manner, not for what YOU could GET from your spouse but rather what YOU could OFFER to your spouse. Love is not selfish! Read 1 Cor 13
- When there is a problem within the relationship …. and there will be problems …. take the matter to God and ask for Him to make things right. Read Psalm 37:4-5
- Always be quick to apologize whether you are right or in the wrong. God does not judge according to the principles of “right” and “wrong”, He judges our actions against His Word. Read Matthew 5:23-25 Ephesians 4:26-27 Philippians 2:3.
- Just LOVE your spouse. If we all walk in AGAPE (the God kind of love) we will easily find ourselves responding in a godly manner, when we are faced with the negative stuff that would confront us. The Holy Spirit will always help us to act right…. but we need to have the Word of God in us so that the Holy Spirit will have something to work with. He works with the Word.
It has been proven by my own life that as we all follow these simple guidelines in marriage, God will intervene and cause each marriage to be successful to His Glory and Honour and so serve to be a beacon to the saved as well as the unsaved. It is indeed possible readers, to live together as man and wife, even in these dark days, and have a successful marriage. God did it for me! He has truly fixed my mess and made it into this message.
To read her husband George's story please click on the link below: